A Hope Too Far-Marlina Guzman
A Hope Too Far
By Marlina Guzman
Agnes was in the bedroom neatly folding Henry’s pressed shirts into the old leather suitcase. She was a bit nervous as she folded the last shirt into the case. She knew that this would be the last time she would see that shirt for quite a while. Agnes snapped the case shut and placed it on the floor with the other suitcases.
“There. It’s finished,” she called out to Henry who was giving himself a good once over in the tiny bathroom. Henry inspected the tiny hairs that protruded out of his nostrils and proceeded to clip them. “Coming,” he replied as he put the tiny little scissors away in the travel bag he had in the bathroom. He walked into the bedroom where Agnes was sitting on the edge of the bed, anxiously wringing her now empty hands. Henry cupped Agnes’s chin in his hands and kissed her on her forehead.
“Now, all we do is wait,” Henry said as he said as he sat down next to Agnes and took her by the hand.
“Yes, wait.” Agnes cracked a nervous smile. She wasn’t too assured by Henry’s calm demeanor. Waiting was something that she hated and she knew that this is what was going to happen today. Henry and Agnes were waiting. Waiting for a phone call that could change their lives. There wasn’t a phone in apartment #306 and the nearest phone was located at Pepper’s General Store downstairs from Henry and Agnes. So they were waiting for either Little Moses Foster or Mrs. Pepper to come up from the store, run up the flights of stairs and knock on the door of apartment #306 to deliver a message from California.
Henry wanted to be in moving pictures and California was the place to go for moving pictures. While acting in a variety show in Manhattan, Henry ran across one of those Hollywood movie producers who often came to the Big Apple either to find new talent or a burlesque honey for romp in silk sheets. Henry was lucky and set up a possible meeting for him and the producer for August 3 in Hollywood. California seemed earths away from the Bronx, but acting was Henry’s passion.
So they waited. Around 11:30 in the morning, Pepper’s General Store was to receive a phone call from California sending a message to Mr. Henry Baker to board a train in Manhattan and take it all the way to Los Angeles. That was the plan that was calculated to the very minute according to the Hollywood producer. Henry and Agnes were relying on each detail of the plan for this was their only hope. Henry and Agnes were beyond broke and desperate. Henry’s parents died of the Spanish flu and left him no money. Agnes’s parents disowned her for marrying Henry and cut off any monies to her. The phone call was the final straw as Henry and Agnes were hopeless.
It was 11:17 on a hot July morning as Henry and Agnes sat on the edge of the bed. They were waiting. Agnes fixated on the front door that could be seen from the bedroom. Henry sat next to her staring at the wooden floor. Anxiety swept them both as they were waiting. 11:31. Agnes braced for a knock on the door to happen any second now. Henry joined Agnes in watching the front door. Nothing. 11:48. By now, Henry was beginning to worry. Sensing Henry’s worried state, Agnes asked, “Shall I go downstairs?” Henry looked at Agnes and smiled with false security. “Of course not. Lets not be hasty now.” But Agnes knew too well that Henry was just as worried and anxious as she was.
So they waited some more. And waited. 12:36 and no word yet. By now Henry was so wrapped up in emotion that he almost forgot his hunger. Agnes asked him if he was hungry, which Henry replied with a nod. Henry wasn’t really that hungry but figured that eating would kill some time and take his mind off the situation. Since there was noting in the pantry to eat, Agnes gathered what little change she had and headed downstairs to Pepper’s. Agnes grabbed a loaf of bread and some dried meat and proceeded to the cash register where Little Moses Foster was chewing on some taffy. Agnes paid for the groceries and thanked Little Moses who rang her up. She spun on her heels and headed for the door. She wanted so desperately to ask Little Moses if the phone rang for Henry but didn’t want to sound needy.
Little Moses called out to Agnes, “Oh, Mrs. Baker!” Agnes suddenly perked up in hopes of what she wanted to hear from him. “Yes, Moses?”
“Tell Mr. Baker that his cousin Benjamin came in yesterday.” Disappointed in not hearing what she wanted to hear from him, she sadly replied, “I will do that, Moses Foster. Have a nice day and mind the store for Mr. Pepper.” Agnes bolted out the door dwelling in her sadness before Little Moses could respond.
“No word,” said Agnes when returning to the tiny apartment that she and Henry spent three years together. Henry let out a heavy sigh and stared at Agnes. “What is it, Henry?” Henry looked back into the direction of the bathroom. “I drew the bath and put the radio on the sink.” Ashamed that those words came out of his mouth, Henry took a step back.
“Oh, Henry. Not yet! Please! Give it time!” She knew that Henry was starting to give up hope and that his mind was set. But she also knew that they had made an agreement and that it was up to Henry to say when. Agnes let a heavy tear slide down her eye. Pained to see Agnes cry, Henry wanted to delay the inevitable. “Lets eat,” he said pressing a smile. “It’ll be good for our bellies.”
So Henry and Agnes ate the meat and the bread. It was 2:11 in the afternoon. By now Henry was supposed to be heading west to California to make it big in Hollywood. Instead, he was still in apartment #306 with his beautiful wife. After they ate every crumb and bite of their meal, Henry took Agnes by the hand and led her into the bedroom. By now Agnes was beginning to accept what was to come and wept silently. Henry was trying not to cry, as he hated to cry in front of Agnes. They both knew that there was not going to be a phone call for them, no message of a better life. It was time.
“It’s time now, Agnes. I love you deeply,” said Henry pointing to the tin bathtub. Fully dressed, Henry made sure that the radio was plugged in and accessible from the bathtub. Henry turned on the radio as “Throw Me a Kiss” was starting. He climbed in the more than half full tub and reached for Agnes. “My favorite song,” Agnes muttered through soggy tears. She took his hand and climbed into the bathtub. Agnes sat on Henry’s lap where he wrapped his arm across her ribs.
“I love you, Agnes Mary Baker,” said Henry as he kissed her through her black hair. Agnes sobbed heavily. “Love you too,” said Agnes through gasps of air and tears. “I guess it wasn’t meant to be,” said Henry. He squeezed Agnes’s small waist and squinted his eyes shut as he pulled the radio into the bathtub.
And that was it. No more dreams of going to California and making it on the big screen. The hope was too far gone now. All that was left were packed suitcases and Henry with Agnes slumped dead inside a bathtub.
About seven minutes had elapsed when a knock on the door occurred. “Mrs. Baker! I forgot to tell you something earlier. I have another message for your husband. It’s from California!”
Copyright C. 2008 Marlina Guzman